Dear You,
So, I guess this is it. Not the turning point but the dead end itself. Not a new chapter, but the ‘the end’ part of a horribly written tragic story.
Now, how do you say goodbye to the only person you have ever loved like this? How do you tell him that as much as you would’ve liked to make yourself believe that you’re meant to be, you aren’t? How do you make him feel what you’re feeling right now, insignificant, crushed, broken, hurting, like being dragged lifelessly into a boulevard planted with nails, knives, blades, bombs and where there’s bullets from guns firing at to you at all directions? Tell me how so I can do it, so I can tell you, so I can.
Because I have to.
Maybe it’s a good thing after all that I printed all my favorite letters to you and gave them to my best boy best friend. I don’t know how it would affect me, but I guess it makes me feel a little bit lighter.
And maybe it’s not a good idea to have this project continued. So, this will be the last letter I’m writing you. Figured I better make the most of it.
I know I’ve said this somewhere in my past letters already but the thought just seems so stronger today. There are six billion people in this world, some happy with their life, some broken in their own ways, some are fighting for the love that they believe is true, some are chasing for the wrong person, and of all these people, I still believe with pure conviction that there is that single person out there meant for me. That one person that God created for me alone. It would be a long journey and I might give up on some points but he’s out there somewhere. I just haven’t met him yet.
As for you, I’m genuinely glad that you’re happy. Whether true or not, single or attached, all I’m praying for now, is for you to be eternally happy. I might not be happy as of the moment but if you are, and if I can see that you are, it would also make me very happy.
One man’s trash is another’s treasure. And one man’s misery, is another’s happiness.
I am not severely miserable right now but I know I’m not happy and I’m going to be such a big fat liar if I say I’m okay because I’m not. I mean, who in their right level-headed and honest minds would say that their fine after realizing that the only love of their life is already someone else’s own? Well, I’m not.
I’m not happy about it, but I have already accepted it.
And I guess that’s what I’ve been waiting for for so long, to learn to accept it and deal with it. Or maybe not deal with it, because it’s very painful to deal with the pain that keeps following you around when you can instead, just let go of it. And that’s what I did.
So there, I’m letting you go. For good because I know it would make you feel happier. You won’t hear from me in any ways starting today. I won’t bother you anymore. I won’t try to keep in touch with you anymore. I won’t be in your life anymore, as if I was ever in it. If that’s what makes you happy.
But despite of these, I still love you. Always had, always will.
I love you like the sun sets and rises with you, like the universes would stop spinning madly on without you, like you’re Seth Cohen. You will always be the Seth Cohen of my life. But it’s the other way around, because I would have to be the one to tell you to, “Go save the world.” I may not be the Summer Roberts in your life, but whatever, I still love you. I love you.
Love,
Me
ricamalana: poopingmonkey: fridaydoodles:fransesgadyel:letsgomarlulol:czarinaisawesome:ifuckeverynight:joaaannaaa:wojiaolim:outofmyreach: fangirlizm: ninetyfourbaby: youngseoul: kevinisafreak: hi-ahlihsuhnbakithindiwhynot: (via janicethitran)
I LOVE YOU GOD. :) THANK YOU FOR SAVING US FROM SIN. THANK YOU FOR GUIDING ME & MY FAMILY. ♥
Without art we would be nothing but foreground and live entirely in the spell of that perspective which makes what is closest at hand and most vulgar appear as if it were vast, and reality itself.
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| — | Friedrich Nietszche (via nihilnoetia) (via quote-book) |
